We Tend To Lose Connection..

..when we follow the crowd..

One thing I noticed as we visited galleries in Europe is the story of the artist, they mention who inspired them, whether it was another photographer, painter or a poem, a sculpture, something modern that captured your attention or something in nature like patterns of a decaying leaf, iced water patterns, lines in the rocks on the beach, the list is varied and far reaching.

The crowd is loud on social media.

It shouts at us for likes, approval, for recognition, because if we don't...well ...we feel less than, we worry that no one likes our work, in turn that driving us to change our minds about it and we just end up trying to please others.

In pleasing others we lose connection to our inner landscape

It can become a daily reminder to pare away the desire to conform, and to tune into our inner voice.

Maybe these simple daily reminders can help, as they helped me :

1. Slow down

You've probably heard this one before, and maybe found it totally B-O-R-I-N-G or indeed scary to slow down, to feel calm, because it brings up worrying thoughts.

But rather than trying to force it, take a look further back into your life, when you were a child.

Were you always rushing around then? Were your parents/teachers always busy?

Did you have lots of responsibilities as a child?

Were you expected to have good grades at school? Were you always trying to " do better" ?

Finding it hard to slow down can come from learned behaviours as a child.

It helps us to understand ourselves, have empathy, be kinder, find the gaps, the space and practice slowing down.

This is a good place to start, and it where I began...

If you've read my other blog posts or bought one of my courses you will know about my love of orienting, it can , however, be disregarded because of its simplicity

But there's a lot going on underneath, and it can take quite sometime to " get it", to feel it and use it as something that we can have in our tool box to use when we notice overwhelm, burnout, disconnection from the present moment.

2. Like Yourself

When we compare ourselves to others, we tend to beat ourselves up don't we?

Why aren't I like that?

Why aren't I that talented?

Why isn't my life perfect like that?

When we fall into this trap, we can feel lost, lose trust in our decisions and lose touch of who we are.

Liking yourself can be hard to do when we have come from a childhood of not being heard.

Of trying to do our best and it wasn't good enough.

How to begin:

• Who do you spend your time with. Toxic or dysfunctional relationships keep us in a state of dysregulation. Choose who you surround yourself with. Do they support you? Do they listen? Have they been where you are now , do they understand you and what is happening instead of berating and judging.
• Practice some movement that you like instead of thinking you should be exercising to change your shape. Move for your health, connection to your body to notice where movement begins, and what your own bodies compensation patterns are, its sensations, its emotions..

  
  

3. Flow

What makes your heart sing?

What have you put off practicing because you are scared or worried that you will fail or no one will like it?

A few years ago I wanted to practice Cyanotypes.

I eventually found a place and a time to do this, or it found me

Then, a year later, I practiced in a different way with salt, lemon juice, bicarb, spices...and no deep blues.

Different, abstract, felt more in touch with the elements, with the earth.

When I am playing and being curious, I am totally lost in myself, time just goes.

I love practicing mindful, slow photography, being absorbed in noticing what is around me, simple everyday objects , noticing their textures, shapes, simplicity.

The mind can become a jumble of thoughts, concerns, worries, anxieties, imagining the worst case scenario.

When I practice mindful photography blended with a gentle Somatics to help with awareness and connection to my body, I feel an immense sense of gratitude and awareness of what is, without wishing anything was better or different.

This helps reduce resentment, anger, worry.

Instead it helps sows the seeds of calm, contentment, satisfaction, kindness, with an overflowing cup of these emotions , they extend outwards to our friends, family, connections, people we speak to in the shop, how we interact with our partners.

Flow is a very underrated thing

I recommend reading this: Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

It's a book that can open doorways in your mind into inner experiences that make life worthwhile.

Flow - a state of concentration and complete absorption.

4. Listen

When we live in our heads we lose track of what makes us sing. We lose connection to our bodies. When we are stressed , anxious, worried, fearful or what others think of us and our work, we store that up in our jaw, shoulders, hands, pelvic floor, diaphragm, toes.

We lose the connection to our bodies.

We stop feeling.

When I have visited galleries and seen many works by older established artists like Mondrian, Jackson Pollack, Paul Klee, I listen to where I feel the connection to their work.

In my feet

In my breath

In my heart

In my hands

When we get lost in not being true to ourselves, work feel soulless, lifeless, not part of us.

Listening to the body, for me, was a huge step in understanding my past traumas, how to befriend myself, and in doing so I fell back in love with photography and the whole story of it, it's different pathways but beginning with myself, understanding, slowing down and listening to my body.

Above all, no matter what chaos there is in your life, you can find a small daily pit stop, a pause, a moment to notice.

Mel